在这深夜里对‘他’的思念越来越深。。。
在这深夜里我依然还是一个人。。孤独。。。。。
我度过了好多好多黑暗的深夜。。我总与明白。。要成功真的是要靠自己。。独立。。。
我长大了吗？我什么都不懂。。有时我在想万一我没有作这个，万一我没做那个。。。结果会不会是不一样的呢。。
有一首歌对我来说很有意义。。。
记忆原来都堆在云里了。
常常告诉我忘了些什么
所以每一次想起你，雨就落下来了
。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。。
怀念一个人原来就是这样。。。苦苦的。。酸酸的。。。
辛苦。。。。。辛苦。。。。
时间过得真快。。我希望如果能够的话，时间在导流回去。。回去哪块了无忧无虑的时光。这一年来，我的生活有许多的变化，起起落落。尤其是今年开始，我的人生完完全全改变了。我失去了最珍贵的东西。“有失必有得”我得到什么呢?爱情吗？友情吗？还是”他“？我不知道。。真的不知道。。
身边的人都告诉我，我一定要坚强，要自持下去，不可以就这么轻易的倒下。我能够坚持多久？我一个人能够撑多久？
曾经答应过要陪我一起走下去的人。。现在已经不在了。我一个人是否能够继续走下去呢。。真希望现在你就出现在我的面前。。我好想念你~你知道我有多么地想你吗？
新的一年我有什么新希望？还不都一样的。。就是要家人健健康康的，一切都顺顺利利平平安安就好了。我不要求多。。
最近功课越来越多了，睡眠时间也越来越少了。不知几时才能够好好的休息。我真得像一个人休息什么人都不想见，就这么永远的休息。。。
我真的能够就这样一走了之吗？我想最放不下的还是我的家人。
我很累了。。这个世界上我是否能够找到我要的靠岸
do u guys think love is really blind ma?last time i think so but now i realized that friendship also blind..why becoz of this ’someone’ my life had changed forever?why bcoz of this ’someone’ i’ve lost my precious things?
am i wrong?each of us try to protect ourself..someone may think that i am 100% wrong but all things tat i’ve done before was something that i wish a friend of mine will wake up.
to xXx
i wish i could explain everything to u..i wish i could turns back time so that u will realize that y i done that to u..i wish u could wake up my dear friend..u really cant judge a book by its cover..i know u wont forgive me for what i’ve done,i dun beg for ur forgiveness..but my dear friend please open up ur eyes n look..
anyway..i hope everything will be fine for u this semester..
it’s been a long time since i posta blog. For this short semester, i really feel tired and expriences a lot of things that i never thought that could happen on me.. there are a time i thought that maybe die can settled everything that happened to me now..but then someone tell me that u must keep going on,be strong. i feel tired…reallt tired..i wish i have someone’s shoulder for me to lean on……
i’ve stop writing blog because i think that my english really sucks(even though i’m a student of english language) Luckily that nite, Angel told me that no matter my language good or bad,as long as u know what u’ve written. i dont know la..i don’t know how can i improve my English better~everybody writing their blog using very good english..for me..always Manglish.
yesterday went to have a buffet with a group of friends..during these 2 and a half hour, we eat everything that we could eat~while eating we’r having fun..8 gals and 2 boys..really nice to meet u Max and Rafidah(Rapheal)..hehe..we r having a lot of fun.
this short semester only studied two subjects, Intoduction to chinese language and Malaysian English Literature. During study week, what have i done? Nothing~!! Didnt study at all even though my first paper will be on this Thursday~huh~i will pass my subject but then wont pass with a good grade..i need to increase my CGPA….must study to9 lo…
"having ‘another u’ is better than being the original ‘u’ when u r having fun with other people..its not a bad things is u acting weirdly or in funny way when u think that u suppose to be more serious. "
what’s wrong with being different from the usual u? isn’t it will be boring if u keep appearing with ur same old behaviour? u r lucky that u could change..but for certain people,what they can do? even if they really want to change,even if they really need somebody to help me,where they can go to?sometimes i wish that everybody wishes will all come true(include my wishes all these long)
somebody told me that it is hard to wait for answer from someone that she like. I know how she felt. because that’s what i felt now. waiting for something that is not certain.at least she is lucky because she still could talk to him,sms him,chat with him,meeting him and the most important things is he knows that she like him a lot. but what can i do?i didnt meet him for few years already? sometimes i told myself that i already forget him,but i’ve realize that i didnt! and miss him even more~why i cant forget him? he had hurt me so much~and yet i couldnt forget him?why?
he doesnt even know that i miss him or i like him? i really wish that he would know it before its too late~~~
somebody beside me now said that "clara,i think you should start writing "real" english." because this someone maybe read my friendster blog before and felt that my blog’s language isn’t not that formal enough..
what u all think?maybe because this ’someone’ doesnt get what i mean in all my blogs..hahaha..
i just drop buy to post a blog because long time didn’t post a blog inside my friendster~nothing special happened….nothing much change except grew oleder and more pimple (Hahaha)…
just hope that all my friends are enjoying their life out there~ Aja Aja fighting~~~
today i’ve meet her at uni’s compound..i miss the time when we spend time together talking and sharing secrets..
she is sharon..my ex-coursemate which change course to psychology course…i knew she will read this..
to sharon..
sharon..thanks for ur support for me arh even though there’s a period of time we’re not really ‘ngam’ together..i’m glad that u r still my friend arh..next time if have time…we shall talk till morning…..~ok..?
besides sharon..there are a lot more other friends that really nice to me arh..all my coursemates…my hometown friends..especially my high sch classmates…both of them share wif me a lot a lot..they r the one that introducing me to commence in UTAR..gladly hv them to teach me the life in kl here..
to fei fei and christine…
long time didnt spend time together wif u two lo…i miss the time when three of us ( wif angel) went to pasar malam or watch movie together..i really wish can spend time wif you all…:) thanks for u all for the laughter and everything…hopefully we can spend time again together…
there are a lots of things tat i miss so so so much…"HELL" friends….still remember that we bought same "army selipar" same "HELL" shirt..it has been a long time since we didnt wear it out..i wonder if u all still can wear it or not? we always ‘yam cha’ together…hanging out at MC compound…huh..~maybe it wont happen again oh…but then i really hope could hang out together wif u all again wor…
other students hv 3 months holiday wor..but then we hv to study..haih..sienz sienz..hope this short semester will be fun lo..yesterday start 1st class,guess what…japanese language class…having fun in the class..
but then now i’m in dilemma…i dont know which elective subject should i choose..japanese language or chinese? chinese is easy coz this is the chance that i can increase my CGPA but then this oso the chance for me to approach new language-japanese…
huh~aiyoyo..how wor..i dont know which one to choose ler..thinking thinking thinking…….
i guess hv to ask my mummy ler lo..ask her to make decision for me ler..suddenly think of mummy now..long time didnt see mummy ler lo..
miss my mummy…my little jimmy…n my two wu gui…long time didnt c them oledi..dont know if my wu gui got bcome bigger a bit ma..
hope this end of year can go back home lo..home sweet home ma..even it’s a little bit tiring when go back home..but then all is worthy just to c my family..my mummy arh…mummy oso kolien..no one will be at home in the morning as everybody gone to work..only on the evening my sister will bring her children come…
if i at home…i guess now…erm..all over the house is my voice..hahaha…i’m very noisy de when go back home..always tell mummy things that had happened here…
fast fast finish study…then can go back home ler lo….:)
this isn’t the 1st time i work..
working with big company wasn’t an easy things as i thought…
cannot do this and cannot do that..
huh~i dont know what else to say..cause i’m really tired already..
i dont have anything on my my own..love..career..everything seems not getting smooth…why oh..?i know i can’t blame anyone…huh..tired tired…
:(
i’m so tired wor…everyday work work work..non-stop de…today boss put me at Maxis center at klcc here…damn..scare scare ler..here is the headquarter..got many big boss around..if one answers wrong..then..mati lo…huh…
god god..help me arh…
today at last finished my Year Two Semester One exam lo~!
Damn Damn stress during the whole exam week arh..especially for Journalism 2 paper..sienz… HOpe can do well this time lo..Really scare scare ler..but i know now scare oso no use already ..
first paper’s results came out already..luckily i pass…
After 3 weeks holiday start short semester again…I hate study ler la..YEar Two Sem One havent finished, the short sem’s lecturer came n c us. Have to rEad literature book ler!!!if one book still ok ler..but have more than 4 books ler~ want die meh..~
This is the 1st time i wont go back to sarawak for semester break..1st reason of course mummy lo..she say no need go back la..wait till december’s holiday then can go back….i miss my home so much oh…
dont wat i wanna do after this la~~find a part time job maybe..or just goyang kaki at hostel la…huh..sienz…feel lazy to think now~~….
i did think of want to meet someone…someone that i never met again since that time at kuching….fours years already….
